With squalor
[Still - Hillsongs]

Since there isn't an event to make an entry about, I'll put up what I wrote on tuesday:

(Tuesday) - on paper.
I guess people eventually get drained out, lose the hype & get back to where they started. Camp was great, & I'm still leaving it as that.

No one actually realizes how much the people closest to you are able to inflict that much of hurt, but yet when there's been a 'wake-up-call' & reality sets in, that's when pain/hurt/frustration come about. Ironically, these are also the people that you love/love you the most, the people that have always said 'I'll be there for you'.

but isn't it human nature to leave these things aside, and appear all fine & dandy, when only, you yourself, know that things aren't that okay afterall? In the process of hiding your true feelings, words are left unspoken, things are left untouched, hurt is left hanging. I guess I'll call it fear - The fear of speaking out & then probably losing someone close to heart.

As much as someone would say: 'Won't things be how they were, all bright & chirpy, after all that thrashing out's been done?' I really don't think so. (or at least for now) Things could be salvaged, the hate could be lessened, the heart could feel less weary, but what's happened would have already happened, & nothing will go the same way back.

Hello my friend, I dare say I don't hate you anymore, I'll be taking each step at a time, & hope that jealousy won't return.