Jamming>> Straitjacket Feeling; The All-American Rejects

forget about the damn blog hiatus
it doesn't even seem to be of any use since I still use the computer everyday
give it up charmaine, so much for determination

there is simply too much to talk about here
and I've come to realise the blog seems to be my means of escapism, I rant & shout all I want here & through this past week of not blogging, I feel so damn constrained

school has been all the same, s-h-i-t and t-r-o-u-b-l-e
everyday I go there feeling the same feeling that is ultimately horrendous and at this point of time, I really detest school to the maximum. For me, it's nothing but a bunch of nonsense & a place that brings out the confusion within me. worst still, track training has stopped which results in ZERO endorphins being released throughout the whole week. RAHH

but on a brighter note,
C.I.A meeting made me like infinite times happier on friday
Nessa got her mentos ( P.S jervis was nice enough to help me buy them first cause i was running late! ) & retarded note from me & I got to see Neek ( after how long! ) Nessa & Nat :) Though it wasn't that long of a catchup session with dearest shortie, but it was still very good cause I haven't talked to her in the longest time ever, & NEEK, ( if you see this ) I really missed the old times ):
Basically we played some rather entertaining games, and throughout the powerpoint presentation, dear giraffe & I were popping mentos into our mouths like no other :D reflection stuff after which and it was indeed very good
forgoed the trip to prata house cause it was already way past 8 /:
ranted to Nessa once again & as usual, it helped

after cat class yesterday was utmostly scary
did I mention how much I'm afraid of confrontations
cause it only brings back memories that'll never be erased, till now, which I remeber still very clearly what happened
I just hope that Thadd will change for the better, afterall, we are still friends I guess

studying alone in the multipurpose hall at rafflesia
not a way productive thing but at least now I've got some information about the periodic table aye, then it was dinner, bomberman playstation with the cousins for some destress, & home where I was already feeling so damn worn out and horrible, lastly, guestroom for attempted studying

I hate today, & sometimes I really think that if you just shut the fuck up, maybe things won't be as bad as they are

this is specially for iddie, jervis & nessa:
yall are the ones who sat through nights and made sure i'm okay
till today, thanks a whole bunch

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a night full of confused thoughts and flashbacks
will someone please tell me i'm okay, this is truly the way things hurt
i feel like screaming and ranting